glass of light

A glass of light
by Thomas r. wolfing

Wondered about life, as I feel ashamed
From things that I've done, fates I made

Drips of blood on my clean soul
Black stains on my broken windows

Can I interest you with a drink or two?
How about some company I can wait for a few?

Why the stare out there?
When your reflection is in your glass

Why the gloomy face my dear friend?
Here you are near me; your life is far from its end

I stare at the lovers across the street
Hiding from the rain and winds of oblivion from above

I'm not sad, neither I'm glad
I wished for so many things but never had

I thought what I wanted is what I needed
But what I needed is already in hand

Hush my dear I almost hear your heart
I don't need no preach nor a form of art

To tell me what I should desire, what to despise
All I crave for is a touch of you hand and a look from you eyes

guy !

last night , i had the best time of my life , i met this 30ish old man as part of casual interview which lasted for about 3 hours , we almost talked about everything , his life , coming outs , my phobias and history , and most importantly "IGLHRC" International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission , working with them might help me release the pain inside me >.> 

pride

pride parade , is a way to share with the world what you are , but i have a few issues with the idea >.>

i know that parades are supposed to be way prove the lgbt rights , but do they have to go that far ? , i mean walking around in your undies , or leather , though i like the sight of it ;9

but really should we give the bad idea about us , to outside world people look at us as sex animals , well so do straight people , but they play nice !

i'm with the idea of lgbt rights gatherings , lets me ask something do women rights groups show their "boobs" on there walks ?
think about it

gangs of amman

you might have seen a lot of things in Amman but have you heard of a "gay gang" ?


seriously it's true XP , but i don't mean it in a mafia context , they are just a bunch guys hanging in the same place , OK ... and sometimes annoy people with there attitudes , but they are fun to watch ;3 .

the idea it's self is simple , a group of individuals have less risk of being attacked by other , like they say necessity is the mother invention , since you haven't notice amman is not always a nice place.


hate crime against homosexuals are common , and most of them are not reported , so the best way to stay safe is to move within a group , cool idea !.


but some times when you a drag queen as a leader an a lot of flamers you get ... you don't want to know >.>

poems ...

Sinner

Here I rest under starry skies
Here my arms open wide

Inside of me a soul that needs the rest
Stains of a past that I wished wasn't there

Fragments of broken spirits lay beside my pen
Lines on paper that define my desires and sins

Can I wish for a day that I can stand in pride
Have no fear my dear sweet , sweet child

It's by nature that we are
It's a birth right to stand for who we are

We may not be saints or holy men of the gods
We may not be kings or knights of the shrine

If we are sinners from the first light
I'll never be wicked in heart
-------------------------------------------------------
Dear friend

Farewell my friend from the old life
Farewell for a few of my hopes

Years has passed since you've gone
Bitter days have yet come

Why is it so hard to understand?
The way of life that I wish to have

Little steps , little steps
That was what you said

But now your shame shadows you
Is it for what You have done ?

Why not feel guilty for my sake ?
Am I not worthy of your place?

You left me for the wolves to eat me alive
You left me hiding in the darkness of my grave

You wanted to be a healer
But I am full of wounds

You wanted to be great
But all I see is disgrace
--------------------------------------

flash mob

i was watching youtube , and there was a flash mob doing a prank , open to public musical .
it got me thinking , some conteries  don't have pride parade -though it's over rated >.>- flash mobs might be the answer for it , a 10 minute march is more than enough to make a statement .

one text message can start the parade , when time is over all participants can disperse without a trace .

bwahaha >;3 what a diabolical plan !

queer daddy ?

OK ... here is a rumor i heard about while i was sitting in a cafe on the "first circle"

a widow father was called to a police station , his son was accused of assaulting with a none-lethal weapon , the father warped up the issue because the victim and the father were old best friend .

when they returned home , the father asked his son for the reasons of his unexplainable attack , the son replied "he's a fag !", the father sits on the couch scratching his head "really ? , do you hate them that bad ?" , "they disgust me , they should be burned on sight" , the father looks out the window at the muddy sidewalk and comments "do you know your mom used to say the same thing ? ... we had a big fight and stormed out the house , the next day they told that she is in labor , when i got there she was gone , the doctors say that she died after giving birth to you , she had no family or relatives so i had to take you ".

the son looks at his father " why did you fight ? " , "she found out that I'm having an affair and i was planning to leave her" , "who was she ?!" , " he was a co-worker at the company , the one you attacked this morning" , the son was shocked  to hear this from his father , he looks at his son with small smile and a tear in the eye with faint chocking voice he says "yes , this is your father" .

tooth !

well i guess i'm a little bitter about the things that happen to me !
>.<

any way , I'm doing as a journal of my self knowing that this might backfire at me , but what the hell , when i ever i get to the point of trusting people to tell them about "me" , i find myself in the middle of a battle field  of "the good and righteous war"  , advising me -sometimes in a harsh tone " to leave the path of the devil and fallow the way of the light , i don't consider myself as a man of god but don't get me wrong i do believe in his existence after all he is part of us :/ after long discussions -and headaches of course - it turns out that I'm on of two thing ether I'm well balanced bi - guy , or i'm going this thinking it's "cool".

wait ... cool ? , WTH ! it's not a new fashion or emo ! , with all respect to the emo guys i know , by the way nice art work ;) , like i was saying , being what i am doesn't change a thing about me , i'm still that next door type of geek ...

speaking as a geek why is hard for me to move around without being labeled , it's like high school all over -this my idea of a nightmare- , if i talk about women rights they call me a "pussy" , if i talk about homosexuality i get the evil eye of "drop dead you unholy being".

so basically you can't even move a finger without someone twittering about you , which also means when ever you make a mistake they blame it on your sexuality or not any thing else or your gender.

at this point you might be wondering "why do you call this post tooth ?" , one ! because i can , two ! i lost a tooth in a fight with homophobic  , the story of that goes like this ...

i invited a client to a local cafe , to discusses his offer , did i mention he is a flamer ? >.> , anyway  he overreacts on the price of the comic that i going write for him , when all of a sudden this guy stands up and come to the table and says " can you leave this cafe ... please ?" , i don't know was he being polite , or making a sarcastic threat.

so my client gives him the "foxy Cleopatra" attitude , yelling how we have the right to be there , and our Testosterone filed guerrilla replied that "fags" have no right , when all the guys in the place looked at us for a moment i thought "fags" like a secret password for "attack !" .


last thing i remember was dragging my client bleeding from my mouth and nose , from that i started working underground hiding from others and self .